The Power of Bummer

"Bummer." This is a word that I used to raise my kids. When they would call and say I forgot something at school, I would say, "Bummer. What are you going to do about it?" I would give three strikes from the start of the school year. Since I worked near home and school it wasn't too much of a deal for me to go back and get something for them. But it was annoying. So we set-up early on the three strikes rules. It had to be something they really needed and then they only had three times a school year for someone to bail them out.

Try it. "Bummer" works for a lot of situations while raising your kids. "Mom, I lost my book." "Bummer." Then you just look at them. After a while they get the hint that they need to solve the problems they cause for themselves.

After my daughter was out of high school, we were sitting around talking and the issue of drunk driving came up. My daughter piped in with, "I never drink and drive because I can see myself calling from the police station and telling my parents I had been arrested and them saying, 'Bummer. What are you going to do about it?'" That's a good parenting moment. You know your words are in their heads and sometimes they actually listen to you.

But the best moment was just this past week. My daughter is watching a little ten year old girl. She gets her ready for school in the morning and is finding out just how hard that is sometimes. She called me to complain that the little girl keeps forgetting things and she's had to take her backpack and lunches up to the school. So my daughter sat down with the parents and told them the "Bummer Method." They thought it was great and fit in with their parenting style. They decided on two "get out of jail free" cards. This little girl will be learning the power of bummer. More importantly to me, my little girl is passing on the power of bummer and understands it's value. What more can you ask as a parent but to see your methods played out and actually have a positive outcome?